Sunday, September 12, 2004

being me

why am I never good enough? not skinny enough, not perfect enoguh. I can never seem to get it right. I fix one thing and then automatically something else goes wrong. I sit here and cry and wonder if there will ever be someone who will actually accept me for who I am, not for who I portray myself to be. I just want to be myself but it never happens. I'm always ending up being whatever other people want me to be--I want to please everyone, not let anyone down. But in the end, I'm letting myself down. I don't know how to deal with it all. when can I be happy? I try so hard to make everyone else happy but when is it my turn? Will my turn ever come?>?????????? I need a slap...a reality check. Whether it comes in the form of someone who will love me unconditionally--not stop because I say the wrong thing or wear the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. I want someone to look at me and think I am the most beautiful person, both inside and out. How does this happen, though, when I look at myself in disgust? All I see is bad. I will never be good enough--not for my parents, for my friends, for myself.

but somewhere, really deep inside, I know that I will be okay. Someday, I pray, someday that someone will come and take me away from my insecurities, from my doubts, from my ugliness. Take me and make me feel loved. please, make me feel needed, wanted, loved. help me to know that I am worth the trouble.

1 Comments:

At 2:14 PM, Blogger ^Lirvha^ said...

Relax, sit on the sofa and think: you are a wise , pretty and young girl. there is somebody waiting for you and this person will accept you with all your mistakes. Love yourself first, think about yourself first, and then you will be able to try make happy to the other people. The rest of the world won't be happy seeing you sad.
kisses

A Spanish girl ( www.lirvha.blogspot.com)

 

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