Thursday, September 23, 2004


So, you know those hours, days, weeks where you just seem to be in a rut? Those days, weeks, whatever that you aren't sure what is going on. You feel doubtful about your decisions and actions and then doubt yourself and others' views of you. So I just had my week and I had the most amazing night with three friends to pull me back out of it. So I met up with my new friend Mattie and we watched the first part of the movie "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" BUT due to our school's crazy rules, we had to stop at midnight. So, he decided that he was going to walk me back to my dorm. So we end up going back and hanging out and talking for about an hour and then my friends Jeanette and Sharla saw us sitting and talking and we all started hanging out, until 2am although I still had to do a shitload of homework still to do. Oh well, sometimes other things are more important. So then, we were bored and decided to dance around on the soccer field, an equally good time. Got harassed by several drunk people, etc.

The thing about last night was that I once again was reminded of how selfish I am. How I don't realize that other people are going through stuff too. Everyone. Everyone has their thing and I need to learn that I am NOT the most troubled in the world although I act like it at times.

I have so much to learn. So much to learn about people, the world, my friends, my family, myself. It's like in Garden State...have I been numb? I believe that I have always felt love, pain, etc, but what about right now? GOD, I'm doing it again, pitying myself.

So Julie's anniversary is coming up and I have been thinking about it nonstop. It's okay though, I just need to visit her. That will help, or just to visit some friends, or something.

I'm leaving for Springfield tomorrow to go see Shannon's play. Hopefully I'll have fun. I guess we'll see.


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